6 Jokes You Should Use Before Noon

The Mission Newsletter, 8/16/18

“Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.” — Betty Smith

Health News That Matters

Episode 77 of The Mission Daily

In this episode of The Mission Daily, we talk all things health and wellness!

We break down the best scientific research and studies we’ve been sharing and explain how you can apply these ideas in our own life.

Listen to Episode 77 of The Mission Daily.

The Mission Daily is a podcast dedicated to accelerated learning and helping you become healthier, wealthier, and wiser. It is designed to help you learn — as fast as you possibly can.

Top Insights from Twilio CMO Sara Varni

Five Tips on Marketing and Life

When Sara Varni was a girl, she discovered something fascinating.

She found that words, slogans, and sentences could influence the world around her.

Now Sara Varni has worked for more than a decade in marketing, and (among other accomplishments!) has risen to become the Chief Marketing Officer of a publicly traded company, Twilio.

In a recent interview on The Mission Daily, Varni details some of the lessons she’s learned along the way and the methods she’s used to find success.

Read: Top Insights from Twilio CMO Sara Varni​

News That Matters

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “Breathe!”

The truth is, you’ve gotta prioritize mental health if you want to get to the Mount Everest of your life potential. This online matchmaking service that matches people with therapists is here to help.

As a former social worker, My Wellbeing’s CEO Alyssa Petersel saw first-hand how incredibly overwhelming the search for a therapist has become. Googling “good therapist near me” wasn’t going to cut it. Her website uses your self-identified chemistry indicators to sift through a database of mental health pros and return that one perfect therapist match.

“Therapy at its best is a rare opportunity to gain a better understanding of who you are, and to work toward who you want to be.”

Rock on, Alyssa. 🤘

Tweet Joke №1

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Greg Nicols wrote a piece for ZDNet about the potential for the augmented reality market to hit a $90 billion valuation by the year 2022. The outlook for VR has been propped up by tech kings like Facebook, which is vying for a billion VR users for its Oculus platforms. And who knows what Russia’s plans are.

Tweet Joke №2

Parenting is mostly just informing kids how many more minutes until you’re there.

Look, kids can be annoying and repetitive.

Look, kids can be annoying and repetitive.

But studies say that repetition is a good thing. (See what we did there?) Research from the good ol’ U.S. Government suggests when kids do something over and over again, connections are being made in their brains that are essential for learning and development.

“Kids who were read the same book multiple times picked up new words faster and retained the meaning of those new words better than kids who were read different texts.”

Time to give that mouse a cookie… for the 50th time this week.

Tweet Joke №3

Join us at SIGNAL!

SIGNAL celebrates the developers, the builders, the innovators, the doers, and the dreamers who are reimagining how the world communicates. Be a part of it with us!

Go to signal.twilio.com and get your ticket for 20% off by using the promo code: MISSION20.

People don’t realize the future is just now, but later.

Twilio is adding a little more spice to its fajitas, this time by Introducing 50+ additional Text-to-Speech voices with the Amazon Polly Integration.

Text-to-Speech (or TTS as the kids call it) allows developers to create applications that translate text to audio that sounds like a real person’s voice. Accents, too! Just listen to these examples from Twilio. They’ll make you mighty proud to be a human.

Tweet Joke №4

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

Some people collect stamps or bobbleheads or Snapple bottle caps. Impossible Foods collects 500,000 pounds of fake meat a month.

Over 3,000 restaurants have said yes to the meat-less dress this year, eating up the Bay Area food manufacturer’s plant-based protein patties. What’s so special about these fake burgers? They look like beef, they smell like beef, they taste like meat, but they ain’t meat! Impossible Foods plans to ultimately double their production to one milllllion pounds per month.

Tweet Joke №5

So what if you can’t spell “Armageddon.” It’s not the end of the world.

Earth really could use a few more decent folks. Olin College of Engineering believes it can help in that department by engaging students in programs that have direct positive social and environmental impact.

There’s plenty more to come. Olin College Professor Mark Somerville just put out a new book called A Whole New Engineer described as “a call to action and blueprint for reinventing all education for the twenty-first century.”

Tweet Joke №6

The Best of What We Are Listening To

Time for a little #ThrowbackThursday to one of our favorite Spotify playlists of all time…

That’s right, folks! This is still our #1 choice for music to work, focus, and relax to!

If you haven’t saved this playlist already, we recommend you do so ASAP. 🎹 🎶

Check it out on Spotify.

Thanks again to our friends at Twilio for sponsoring The Mission!

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6 Jokes You Should Use Before Noon was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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