How To Forgive And Heal The Past — Part 2

How To Forgive And Heal The Past — Part 2

“two coffee lattes in yellow cup with saucer on brown wooden table” by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Solitude Is Contained Within The Present Moment

“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” — Buddha

In Part 1, I wrote of the need to forgive and heal the past in order to unburden ourselves of the pain associated with it. In Part 2, we look at how forgiveness and healing work together to help us let go of our wounds. Firstly, awareness is the key to forgiving and healing the past. This may mean that although we do not have an accurate picture of the root cause of our problem, we are nonetheless aware that we carry unresolved aspects within. The process of awareness simply means becoming conscious of any aspect that causes us suffering. The second component toward forgiveness involves self-examination. This part involves the investigation with a compassionate heart toward the root cause of our suffering. Alternatively, if we feel that this process is far too arduous to undertake on our own, working alongside an understanding therapist will help us to heal and let go of past judgements.

The truth is that all we ever have is what is contained within this moment, but for now we must understand that our past does not equal our future. Our thinking and belief that it does, is what creates separation and suffering. Our minds are adept at predicting the future, since it is part of its makeup to perform that task. Yet sometimes, it overdoes its job by predicting circumstances that have no correlation to the present moment and future. Our only place of solitude is contained within the present moment, that is, when we are alive and awake to it. By awake, I mean without distractions, motives, beliefs or anything that threatens the pure joy and bliss of experiencing each moment as it is.

You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are. Maybe you have heard this saying? What this means is that our worlds are shaped by our own unique perspectives, which is what makes the world such a diverse place. Each and every person on earth has their own filter through which they view life. Their perspectives may be shaped by beliefs from religion, sex, love, politics, environment and other so forth. What makes it interesting is that our past experiences of life, dictates how we perceive the present moment and the future. Our past may include our beliefs, thoughts, ideas and emotional constitution toward the world. What you see is a product of your individual perspective — no one sees what you see, even if they had the chance to look at life precisely from the location you are standing. Their judgement and perception is shaped from a different set of experiences, so they would never see your exact perspective.

“woman walking on side of the road” by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

Suspend Our Judgements About Life

“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” ― J. Krishnamurti

To create an authentic experience of the present moment withholding judgment, labels, or stories, we must strive to release our learned programs and prejudices toward life and allow life to really reveal itself. Sometimes though, this may mean that what we see does not fit the model of what we believe is right. For example, we might have been taught to follow a certain political party, since our family and grandparents also followed this political party. However, we meet a wonderful partner who has all the loving qualities we could ever wish for, but he or she believes in the opposite political system. A part of us may feel compelled to judge and label our partner as inaccurate and it stands to reason that our partner should also share the same view. Ultimately, we do not really know another person until we stand in their shoes and live their life.

The point worth making here is that we all have our own set of beliefs and past experiences that shape and create our current circumstances. Sometimes though, our present moment experience may be rooted in suffering and eternal problems. These come as a result of our personal biased that we have brought in to this present moment. Now while some people may view this as a negative experience, I would suggest that it may be a positive experience insofar as the present moment serves as a measure of how much our past conditioning interferes with the pure awareness of this present moment. To create a more authentic experience in life, we must look at reviewing and examining our conditioned beliefs and perceptions by adjusting them to suit the present moment.

Taking the earlier example of opposing political views, it might mean approaching the topic with an openness to learn the other person’s reasons for having these views, irrespective of whether we think they are wrong. Often in life we have adopted a set of beliefs and opinions that are deeply rooted and held with such conviction that we fail to recognize and authenticate the purity that each moment offers. By suspending our judgments about life, we approach every situation with an open heart and open mind, thus allowing multiple probabilities to simultaneously exist. This in essence is the beauty and simplicity of life when we abandon our notion of how life should actually be, and instead come from a place of pure awareness and allowing.

It takes a great deal of courage to face up to one’s truth irrespective of whether they believe that truth to be false or inaccurate. I believe that our life takes on more meaning when we begin to examine any disowned aspects of ourselves which we have neglected, either intentionally or unintentionally. I like to look at life from the perspective of having acquired a level of understanding, given one’s level of consciousness at the time. As we grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually, our filters also expand to allow us to see a world in a different way.

Judging ourselves and others is too easy, since it shifts the blame from looking within and dealing with those parts we dislike. Those who remain Parked in life feel the need to label and judge others, believing that the world is wrong and they are right, when in fact what they are actually saying is: I fail to recognise the part of me I have abandoned and so I choose to criticise and label you instead. I dislike that part of me, which I would rather not face. From this way of thinking this person is playing the victim role by not recognising that a part of them wishes to heal and express their authentic self.

Call To Action

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? Have you had enough of not achieving the success you seek? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!


How To Forgive And Heal The Past — Part 2 was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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Author: Tony Fahkry

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